365 Exciting Ways to Live : Excitement # 28

Practise Active Listening

The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention.

– Thich Nhat Hanh

How do you listen when someone talks to you? What is the quality of your listening? Do you feel restless and butt in, when others speak to you? If you do all these, stop!   The quality of listening is very important in the process of communication.

The difference between listening and hearing lies in the quality. There are two types of listening: active listening and passive listening. Active listening encourages the communicator, whereas passive listening discourages him. Active listening is also called ‘whole-body listening’, where the listener also participates in the communication process. For active listening, the following parameters are important:

• Your body language.
• Your eye contact with the communicator.
• Asking relevant questions and clarifications.
• Paraphrasing what the communicator says.
• Facial expression.

From today, be conscious and look for the above in you,   when you listen to someone. Ask your close friends to give feedback on the quality of your listening and actively listen when they give the feedback!

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 27 - Make Every Day a Thanks Giving Day

Make Every Day a Thanks Giving Day

Nothing is more honourable than a grateful heart.

– Seneca

Have you heard of ‘Thanks Giving Day’?   Why not make every day a Thanks Giving Day?   We need the help of others to achieve in life. We need the cooperation and support of many. In fact we also need lack of cooperation and inaction of others! If everyone cooperates and provides an ideal environment, we will not mature in life! Isn’t true?

We should remember people's help and thank them. While thanking, both the person thanking and the person receiving feel happy. People yearn for recognition and reciprocation, as much as we yearn for help and support. When we recognise and reciprocate, we build healthy relationship and emotional wellness.

Try this today. Make a list all those who helped you in some way or other – small or big. Every day, send a ‘thank you’ card to one person and don’t go to sleep unless you’ve done this! In this electronic era, it is very easy to do this. You can either send a sms or an e-mail or you can use your mobile, etc.

Do this regularly and notice what happens to your emotional bank account!

(From My Book '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

NC Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 26 - Know How You Irritate Others!

Know How You Irritate Others

Prepare yourself for the world, as the athletes used to do for their exercise; oil your mind and your manners, to give them the necessary suppleness and flexibility; strength alone will not do.

– Lord Chesterfield

Do you irritate others? If so, do you know how? We may not know how we irritate others. It may be some mannerism or traits such as interrupting,  when someone talks; speaking with a loud voice; wounding someone’s emotions or feelings with words; talking too much; boasting; snoring; slurping; making unconnected or inappropriate comments; seeking undue favours. The list can be endless!

Many may not tell you, but you need to be aware.

There is a whole range of a subject called ‘Etiquette’, the social skills, which we need to know compulsorily. It changes from culture to culture. Especially when you move with a heterogeneous body of people drawn from various cultures, you need to know what is not acceptable in each culture.

Today why don’t you do an exercise? Talk to some of your very close friends and ask them to give you some feedback on how you irritate others? Encourage them to be frank. Work out an action plan to get rid of the same!

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live'

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 25: Take Inventory of Your Bad Habits!

Take Inventory of Your Bad Habits

Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones.

 Benjamin Franklin

In any organisation, once in every year a complete inventory is taken to take stock of the assets and the liabilities so that the balance sheet can be drawn. The health of an organisation can be seen not merely looking at the profit and loss account, but also at the balance sheet. The investors will be keen to know the liability part of the balance sheet. As individuals, we should also know our assets, which are our good habits as well as our liabilities, which are our bad habits.

Today, make an inventory of your bad habits! Sit calmly and list at least ten bad habits, which you want to get rid of. Against each bad habit, honestly write down how the same has affected your life. Just visualise how your life would be now and in future without these bad habits.

The law of nature is very clear: what is noticed alone will grow. The same applies to removing something bad. Unless you notice a bad habit, you cannot remove it. It’s like garbage removal. Unless you notice, you will not remove it!

Make today an inventory taking day!

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

NC Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitment # 24 : Learn from Criticisms!

Learn from Criticisms!

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.

– Christopher Hampton

Are you comfortable to take criticism and feedback constructively?   We need to develop this important quality. Many of us do not encourage others to criticise us.  Think of the consequence of complete absence of any feedback and criticism about you. The more you dislike feedback and criticisms, the less others will be free to offer the same. We may be thinking that what we do is right, but it may not be true.

Do you want to know where you have to improve? Choose five people whom you trust most. Ask them to write down three things which they don’t like in you! Do this exercise sincerely and honestly.

Of the various things pointed out, choose five most important issues and draw an action plan for self-improvement. Focus on one issue per week and try to eliminate the same from you.

This may look odd, but do it.   Stand in front of a mirror and openly criticise yourself! Suggest changes to the person in front of you and notice what happens to your own personality over a period of time!

Try this out!

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live)

www.thetimefoundation.com

NC Sridharan

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 23: Develop an Eye for Details!

Develop an Eye for Details

It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things to happen.

– John Wooden

Developing an eye for details is an important quality. Great people have this. This is a mindset and attitude, which will enhance the quality of our work.

Going into the details is a left brain function. Getting an overall perspective is a right brain function. We need both to succeed in life. There are ways to enhance our ability to improve our eye for details. 

Here is an exercise which you can do to develop an eye for details.

Take any object and look at it for two to three minutes and set it aside. Recall what all you noticed in that object. Now, take the same object again and carefully look at the same object this time going into even more details. Improve the quality of your focus; imagine that there is nothing else existing in the world other than the object. Write down more information about the object. You will be surprised to notice what all you missed! Repeat this exercise as many times as possible.

Notice what happens to your ability to go into details!

(From my book: '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 22: Get Noticed!

Get Noticed

If you don't get noticed, you don't have anything. You just have to be noticed, but the art is in getting noticed naturally, without screaming or without tricks.

Leo Burnett

Have you thought about the trait of ‘getting noticed’?   In order to succeed in life, we have to get noticed by others. We may have all the talents and we may also be contributing, but we may not be noticed. Unless we are noticed, we will not be recognised in the society.

Next time when you go to a departmental store, notice how the products are displayed to catch your attention. Even if the product is very good, people should know in what way it is different from that of the competitors. This is what is projected by the marketing agency.

Check what you have to get noticed by others. How do you ‘package’ your contribution to others? What is your unique talent? Is your communication skill different from others? How is your image – both internal and external? Are you an inspiration to others? Is there something which you alone can offer, which no one else can? If so how do you communicate your uniqueness to the world?

Today ponder over the above and jot down a few ideas, which come to your mind.


(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live) 

NC Sridharan
www.thetimefoundation.com
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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 21

Interrupt Interruptions

Other people’s interruptions of your work are relatively insignificant compared with the countless times you interrupt yourself.

– Brendan Francis

We cannot manage time as we have no ‘control’ over time. But we can and should control the ‘productivity’ of time by turning maximum quantifiable output within the time available.

Our time is fragmented and dissipated by interruptions, which cannot be eliminated altogether.  If we don’t control interruptions, we will take more time to complete the task than what is required. A perfectly normal day will be full of interruptions like telephone calls, drop in visitors, meetings and people. If you are not at all disturbed, it means that you are not required.

We should manage the interruptions and keep them short by studying the nature of interruptions and work out a strategy. You can have an ‘interruptions log’, in which you meticulously note down every interruption and study them. Know who and what interrupted you and how long. You will know why you were interrupted. After this homework, you can work out a strategy to deal with that major interruption, which takes away a lot of your precious time.  Try this from today!

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 20 Learn Public Speaking

Learn Public Speaking

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

– Mark Twain

Public Speaking is an important skill to be developed.  Many people are afraid of public speaking next only to death! As you go up in your life, you will have many occasions to make presentations to convince people. In some functional areas such as marketing and customer service, this presentation skill assumes a very important dimension in career growth.

Many of us honestly believe that speaking is a natural skill, since we have been speaking right from the time we are born. For many of us it may not be true. Public Speaking is an art. Like you learnt cycling and typing, you can also learn to be a good public speaker.

Here’s another simple exercise. Deliver a ‘one-minute speech’ to a tape recorder and listen to your own voice and evaluate. Recall your role model, who is a good public speaker and visualise how he will deliver the same speech. Try this exercise at periodic intervals and make continuous improvement. Watch your presentation skill growing!

Start today!

From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live'

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live : Excitement # 18: Develop Flexibility

Develop Flexibility

Thus, flexibility, as displayed by water, is a sign of life. Rigidity, its opposite, is an indicator of death.

– Anthony Lawlor

Flexibility is a very important trait. If there is life, there will be flexibility. A live plant or tree is flexible. If the tree is chopped and dried, it becomes inflexible. So is the case of a human body. As long as there is life, the human body is flexible.

I come across people, who do not like even small changes in their daily life. They want to sit in the same seat, eat the same food, meet the same people during lunch, etc. There are some people, who will be very inflexible even in very small things like the tea cups they use and the route they take to office. 

Try this from today. Take a different route to your office. Sit in a table different from where you used to sit in the canteen. Dress differently. Eat in a different restaurant. Order a different food and enjoy. If you have a home office, change the direction of the table and notice how you feel. If you feel shy to speak to new people, get yourself introduced to the first stranger you meet today!

Do it today!

From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live' 

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 17: Carry a ‘My Mistakes’ Book!

Carry a ‘My Mistakes’ Book!

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.

– George Bernard Shaw

There is a very powerful NLP Presupposition: ‘There is no such thing as failure, only feedback’. Failures and mistakes teach us more than what success and right actions could teach. As we carry on with our various activities, we may commit mistakes and there could be slips. Error is human.

Why don’t you jot down at least one mistake you do every day? For example, ‘today, I shouted at my colleague unnecessarily’, ‘ I forgot to charge my cell phone and went through a crisis and tension unnecessarily’, ‘ I misplaced my air ticket and searched for it with hardly an hour left for the flight departure’  etc.

By this exercise you will develop an attitude to notice small mistakes and this is a very important trait in successful people. As you start noticing such small mistakes, you will become very careful at a very unconscious level and you will also improve an eye for details. 

Try this from today!

From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live'

NC Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 15: Travel Time Treasure Hunt!

Travel Time Treasure Hunt

This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

I’m sure you would have calculated your waiting time, which I mentioned earlier. There is much more ‘time treasure’ to be dug right underneath your feet!

On an average, how much time do you spend in travelling in a day? About 45 minutes? Let’s calculate: 45 minutes a day means 1170 minutes per month for 26 days; this means 14040 minutes in a year; 351,000 minutes in an active life span of 25 years; 5850 hours; this is 731 man days which means 2 solid years!

Of course I have not included the travel during vacations!

Today, can you think how you can convert the travel time into productive time? Do you say ‘I don’t have time to read, I don’t have time to think, I don’t have time to plan, I don’t have time to ...’? How about using the travel time in the most appropriate way? Can you not put on an iPod and listen to your most favourite music, for which you say that you don’t have time? How about learning a new language the same way?

Where there is a will, there is a way!

From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live'

NC Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement #14: Waiting Time Is Good Time!

Waiting Time Is Good Time

Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.

– William Penn

Do you know how much time you spend in your life time in waiting?   For a month from today log all the waiting time – waiting to catch a bus, waiting in the office for the meeting to start, waiting in the airport, the railway station and waiting to get sleep! You will be stunned to see the following calculation:

If you are spending just 30 minutes a day in waiting, multiply it by 30, which comes to 900 minutes per month; multiply it by 12 and it comes to 10,800 minutes per year. In your active life span of 25 years it accounts for 270,000 minutes, which means 4500 hours. If you consider eight hours as one man day, it comes to 562 days which is about one and a half years! This is for just thirty minutes waiting time per day! Most of us spend easily three times this and just calculate how much time is it!

From today treat waiting time also as productive time. With the kind of electronic gadgets we have, we should be able to put this enormous time into effective use.

Do it today!

From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live! 

NC Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 13: Stay in Touch!

Stay in Touch

No road is long with good company.

– Turkish Proverb

I interview successful people, who have achieved great things in their life to know their strategy for success. One important trait I notice in them is their ability to stay in touch with people. They are good in maintaining rapport with people, whom they should know. Isn’t it a common sense that without the help of people we cannot achieve anything in life?

Many of us think of people and recall old friends and contacts, only when confronted with some problem and seek their help.

Do this listing today:

·         People whom I should meet every day.

·         People whom I should be in touch on a weekly basis.

·         People whom I should meet on a monthly basis.

·         People whom I should contact every year, and

·         People whom I should meet only when needed.

After making this list, draw an action plan to implement the above! Try to remember their birthday, wedding day etc. and greet them instead of sending once a year a New Year card!

Do it today!

From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live'

NC Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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