'CONNECT' 36: Tips on Public Speaking......Your dress

Wearing the correct dress for any occasion is a matter of good manners.

Loretta Young

In public speaking people see you even before you start your speech. Hence, it is important how you groom yourself. You may like a casual wear, but the occasion could be a formal one. Unless you are an unique personality for whom grooming does not matter, you should be sensitive to this important aspect of your external personality.

You have seen the picture of Albert Einstein with his haggard face, wrinkled pant and tennis shoes. Imagine a Prime Minister of a country participating in an international conference with a wrinkled pant and tennis shoe!

Your audience may have some expectations on your grooming. Research finding is very clear that personal appearance plays an important role in public speaking. First impression is important. Ensure that you are dressed appropriately. May be you are a very powerful speaker and you can overcome and erase the initial unfavourable impression. But why take this risk? It is better to start with a favourable impression than with a negative or even an unfavourable first impression.

It is better to check with the organisers of the event on the profile of the audience and the expected dress code. If the audience are dressed formally you may have to match it.  

NC Sridharan

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'CONNECT' 35: Tips on public speaking ...using gestures

Be simple in words, manners, and gestures. Amuse as well as instruct. If you can make a man laugh, you can make him think and make him like and believe you.

Al Smith

One important aspect to be kept in mind in  public speaking is 'gestures'. Gestures are the movement of your arms or hands while you deliver your speech. Lot has been written on gestures and how to use gestures while you deliver your speech. I would like to give one golden rule on gestures: be natural and ensure that it does not violates any cultural sentiments. The same gesture may be communicate something good, while at the same time it may be just the opposite and may would somebody's sentiments elsewhere. For example a raised thumb.  

You may notice different types of gestures such as clasping hands in front or at the back, keeping the hands in the trouser pockets etc. You may see notice speakers with outstretched hands inviting people to respond. Some people may stretch the hands up while making a point.

The best way to learn how to use gestures is to observe how powerful speakers deliver their talks. Log on to the YouTube and listen to legends like Martin Luther King, John F Kennedy, Steve Jobs, etc speak and notice what gestures they use and the context and content of their speech at that time.

Ensure that your gestures do not irritate the audience!

NC Sridharan

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'CONNECT' 34: Tips on public speaking...the first 30 seconds

I don't get stage fright, I actually love the energy, I love the spontaneity, I love the adrenaline you get in front of a live audience, it actually really works for me.

Brooke Burke

How you in the first 30 seconds of your speech is very important. Even if you are a professional speaker with years of experience, you may have some tension and stress inside you which is natural. Do you think that Serena Williams will not have tension when she goes to play a game of tennis?

When you reach to the podium, do not rush to speak. Do not lean on the podium. It may mean that you are nervous which you are trying to hide. Take a few seconds to get set. Look at the audience and try to make eye contact with them . Arrange and organise your papers or flash cards and keep them at a place where you can access easily. Take a deep breath. Smile. And then you may start your speech.

May be there are occasions where you may not be comfortable. May be there are speakers who are much more senior to you. Or there may be great personalities and legends on the stage and you may not be comfortable to speak in front of them. Still feel comfortable. Fake it to make it! Yes, even if you feel uncomfortable, fake as though you are comfortable and you will feel comfortable!

N C Sridharan

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'CONNECT' 33: Your speech should also be a visual treat!

'People trust their ears less than their eyes'

Herodotus

Your speech should be a visual treat to the audience and not merely a treat to their ears!

I want you to watch good public speakers delivering their speech. Watch the news hour on the TV channels and watch how professionals speak. On the YouTube you will get great speeches from leading personalities such as Bill Gates, Steve Job, Narendra Modi, Barack Obama etc. Listen not only to the contents of their speech but also how they deliver their speech. Watch their non verbal aspects of their communication. Watch their body language, how they stand, how they move and how they present their speech. Log on to https://www.ted.com and watch how professional speakers deliver. You will also find some good samples in YouTube.

Expert speakers know how to present themselves elegantly. They pay special attention to this important aspect of their speech. They also get trained on this. Novice speakers move their body in unwanted ways, constantly shift their weight from one side to the other, fidget with their papers and pens etc. Some speakers become statues and stare at their audience showing that they are nervous and uncertain about what they have to speak.

This is where attending a good public speaking course becomes very relevant.

N C Sridharan

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'CONNECT' 32: Non verbal aspects of public speaking

Language is a more recent technology. Your body language, your eyes, your energy will come through to your audience before you even start speaking.

Peter Guber

In a face to face communication, you are very much there when you deliver your speech. The audience not only 'hear' you, but also see you. I am carefully using the word 'hear' and not 'listen' in this piece! Unless what you say and how you say is interesting, people will merely hear you and not listen to you. In order to make people to listen to you, you need to care about how you present yourself physically. Your non verbal aspects of communication is as important as your speech and delivery.

Next time when you deliver a speech, remember the following points:

1. Empty your hands: Do not carry notes, pen etc in your hands and free your hands so that you will use them for appropriate gestures.

2. Keep your hands free: Do not keep your hands in your pockets, meddling with your shirt buttons, holding on to the podium, adjusting your tie etc.

3. Vary your hand gestures and do not stick to one specific gesture.

4. How you stand in front of the audience is very important.

5. Gestures like wiping your face or uneasy body movements may reveal that you are nervous.

You may not notice how you appear, but others do!

N C Sridharan

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'CONNECT' 31: Making eye contact with audience

'Communication is depositing a part of yourself in another person'

Anonymous

In as much as the eyes of the audience is a window to their mind, your eyes also speak volumes about how you feel inside as you deliver your speech. As you get ready for your speech and stand in front of the podium, the few seconds that you span the audience is enough for them to gauge you. If you have stage fright your eyes will reveal it. If you are not sure of the topic you are going to speak, your eyes will say this. If you are confused your eyes will say this. If you are not comfortable or embarrassed with some questions from the audience, your eyes will inform this to the audience. If you get angry with the audience your eyes will expose your feelings!

You can also use eye contact to establish a good rapport with the audience before you actually deliver your speech. You can plan to arrive little earlier at the venue and spend a few minutes with the audience by talking to them one person at a time making eye contact. You may engage in a casual conversation with them to know what they expect from your speech. While doing so make sure that you make eye contact with them.

N C Sridharan

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Problems when students come to 8th and 9th std....

Some students who do very well till 7th std. lose their focus from 8th to 9th std. mainly because of their vulnerable age. We have to help them to manage this sensitive and emotional phase of their life. I give below the following tips for you:

1) Discourage Facebook account. If they have it, ensure that you are also there in the same page.

2) In this age students get into ‘infatuation’. Infatuation is “an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something”. This is the age where a boy or a girl may develop a short-lived passion or admiration with some of their friends. This is a natural phenomenon due to the emotional, biological and harmonial changes that are taking place during this age.

3) In the first place, you should have total trust on your children and at the same time carefully observe the emotional external responses. Spend adequate time with your children showing genuine love and affection.

4) Completely ban and discourage students listening to cinema songs and FM radio. Research says that we become what we listen to. In the recent past, cinema songs do not help development of healthy mind set. Cinema songs encourage infatuation as discussed earlier.

5) Do not encourage cell phones. Children are not mature enough to use it properly. They misuse the various apps such as What’s up.

6) Ensure that they manage their available time constructively; they reach home within 30 minutes after the classes are over; they do not waste their available time on chatting with friends either over telephone or in person. Ensure that they do not receive any telephone calls from their friends after school hours. They have spent enough time in the school and there is no reason for them to receive friends in person or over telephone.

7) Please ensure that at the 8th std level, your ward spends a minimum of 4 hours of study time and at the 9th std level, minimum of 5 hours of study after doing the homework. This alone will ensure their getting high marks in their exam.

8) We do not encourage Laptop at this age. If you have a Laptop or a Computer with broad band connection, it should be in the main hall with the common access, both for the parents as well as the children.

9) Encourage your ward to join extra-curricular activities like Sports, Music, Debate, Quiz, Public Speaking etc. This will ensure that they are mentally engaged on intellectual activities. If it is not done, they will naturally divert their attention on unnecessary activities spoiling their mind.

I am writing their letter, so that you are informed on how to deal with your children.

NC Sridharan

'CONNECT' 30: Tips on Public Speaking: Establishing Eye Contact

'An eye can threaten like a loaded and leveled gun, or it can insult like hissing or kicking; or, in its altered mood, by beams of kindness, it can make the heart dance for joy'

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I read somewhere that eyes are the windows to the soul. Universally it is agreed that establishing eye contact with the audience improves the quality of our communication. Eyes by themselves may not communicate any emotions. however, how you use your eyes and the areas around your eyes such as the eyebrows etc, may mean a lot to those who are in front of you.

When addressing an audience, look into their eyes in a friendly and pleasant way. It will improve the rapport. It is not merely looking at their eyes which matters, but also how you look. If you have a piercing look into the other person, he may not like it. It should make the other person feel at ease and connected.

When you are addressing a group of people, looking only at one person or a section of the audience may convey an impression that you do not care about others. If someone is looking at your eyes, you should also connect. If you don't, it may mean that you are avoiding him.

You can also divide the audience into sections like the left, the right, the front and the rear and make eye contact as though you are a light house beam.

NC Sridharan

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'CONNECT' 29: Tips on Public Speaking: Mind Your Facial Expression

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said.

Peter Drucker

When you are addressing someone, two things are taking place: you are evaluating others, and others are evaluating you! In fact, even if you are not evaluating others, others are always evaluating you. It is very important that you get the feedback of the evaluation. Some may give their feedback directly. But many may not. Non verbal cues are very important.

Next time when you speak to someone, notice the their facial expression. People can communicate with you without uttering a single word! Research on body language say the following:

• Pursed lips may mean that emotions are held back
• Yawning may mean that the person feels bored and sleepy
• Raised eyebrow may mean that the person is surprised at what you say
• A head nod may mean that either the person agrees or disagrees
• If the person is not maintaining eye contact with you, it may mean that his mind is wandering or he is avoiding you
• If someone is looking at his wrist watch, it may mean that you are not engaging his mind interestingly or that you are exceeding your time

A good public speaker is sensitive to understand the mind of the audience through their facial expression.

N C Sridharan

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