365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 78: Giving Feedback and Criticism

Giving Feedback and Criticism

He has a right to criticise, who has a heart to help.

– Abraham Lincoln

Sometimes we have to give our feedback and criticism to others. It may be for their good or for our good. But the most important thing to remember is how to give the feedback, especially negative feed backs and criticisms. The purpose of a negative feedback or criticism should be to help the other person and not to punish or insult.

Evaluate the quality of your feedback with reference to the following factors:

• The words you use – are they kind and appropriate?
• The timing of your feedback – is it the right time? Choose a neutral occasion and not when the other person is emotionally charged.
• The place. Praise in public, criticise in private.
• Be genuine in your intention and let the other person know it.
• Check if the purpose of your feedback is achieved and how the other person has taken it.

·         Let the other person know why and what you are trying to communicate.

A little amount of empathy and tact will go a long way to maintain a healthy rapport even after you have given the feedback and criticism.

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

NC Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement# 73: Focus on Your Core Competency!

      Focus on Your Core Competency

You will never ‘find’ time for anything. If you want time, you must make it.

– Charles Bruxton

Are you a ‘Jack of all trades, but master of none’?

Today, we live in a world of specialization and you have to be a specialist in any one specific field. You should identify your special talent and become an expert in that area. You should focus all your efforts to develop that talent. This is called ‘core competency’. Many organizations focus all their attention on their core competence and even stop manufacturing products which do not fit into this strategy.

Over this weekend, introspect and reflect to find out your core competency. Analyze and evaluate if you are spending adequate time on this area. Check if your time is dissipated on activities which may be interesting, but does not relate to your core competency. Prepare a ‘not to do list’ in which you list at least five activities, which do not belong to your core specialization area to release your time to pursue your most important activities.

Unless you say ‘no’ to unimportant, but interesting trivial things, you will not find time to do the most important and critical things which will add value to your life.

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

NC Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 63 Become a ‘Time-Rich’ Person!

Become a ‘Time-Rich’ Person

The key is in not spending time, but in investing it.

– Stephen R. Covey

We will not value a resource which is freely available to us. It applies to the scarce resource called ‘time’! Time lost is lost forever. Successful people are more careful with time than with their money.

If you are conscious that money is scarce, you will become careful while spending. This consciousness will influence your attitude to money and your priorities. This consciousness makes you to handle two important portfolios with respect to money: budgeting and accounting. You will start accounting for every rupee you spend.

From today be conscious of how you spend your time. Calculate how many hours are available to you in a day, when you are awake and budget the various ‘expenditure’ of your time. Decide in advance how much time you want to watch TV, read newspaper, meet people etc. Decide if you can find a ‘twin purpose’ for your travel time, like travelling and listening to some audio books, of course taking care of your safety.

A cash-rich person knows that it is wiser to save than to earn. Similarly a ‘time-rich person’ will avoid unnecessary work and wisely invest the time elsewhere fruitfully.

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

NC Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 61 - Take Care of Your Body!

      Take Care of Your Body.

Health is not valued till sickness comes.

Dr. Thomas Fuller 

Next time when you watch a cricketer playing, notice how carefully he keeps his tools such as the bat and the glove. In the same way a tennis player will take utmost care of his racquets. So will a musician take care of his violin or guitar or keyboard. A software engineer will ensure that his computer is not affected by any virus. They all know that if their main instrument fails, they will fail.

Just think which is the most critical of all the instruments? Isn’t it our body? But do we take care of our body properly? If any one part of the body fails, you will not get a spare, which is as good as the original!

Ask yourself the following questions:

·         Do I take care of my body?

·         Do I exercise regularly?

·         How are my health indicators such as blood pressure and sugar?

·         Am I taking sufficient precautions against the break-downs?

·         Am I eating right? Am I eating too much or too little?

·         Do I take enough rest and sleep?

Today resolve to take care of your body to sustain all your activities!

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

www.thetimefoundation.com

N C Sridharan

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 60 - The Ten Commandments for Success!

 The Ten Commandments for Success

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity;

An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

– Winston Churchill

The best gift you can give yourself is the gift of positive thinking. In fact this is a gift, which others cannot give to you. When you think positively, your energy level will drive you into limitless action.

Ensure that you develop the following traits to remain positive in your thinking:

1.       Be optimistic, but at the same time plan for contingencies.

2.      Be enthusiastic. Your enthusiasm will be contagious.

3.      Believe in your potential to realise your dreams.

4.      Believe in the integrity of your mind.

5.      Persevere. Don’t give up at the slightest provocation.

6.      Sincerely and honestly pursue your dream.

7.      Seek the company of positive thinkers.

8.     Focus on the end result and not on the process.

9.      Make self affirmation statements such as ‘I will succeed, come what may’.

10.  Remain calm and composed during crisis.

You have to strongly believe that you cannot change the environment, which is not in your control.  Your inner mindset will alone make the difference. Life is not what happens to you. It is what you do with what happens to you!

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

www.thetimefoundation.com

NC Sridharan

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365 Exciting Ways to Live - Excitement # 59 - Audit Your Laziness Index!

 Are You Lazy?

You delay, but time will not.

– Benjamin Franklin

There is no substitute for hard work. In this world of global opportunities and intense competition, hardwork is very important.   Compared to 50 years ago, everyone is working harder. Today’s tennis player has to practice four times harder than his predecessor. The same applies to any sport, be it football or chess.

Do a very honest audit of your working habit with the following questions:

• Am I working hard enough? How many hours do I work per week?
• Am I doing adequate justice to the role I am holding in the society?
• How is my hard work compared to that of my competitor?
• What is my ‘prime time’? Am I investing my prime time on some vital activities?
• While working, what is the intensity of my concentration and focus?
• Over these years, is there an improvement in the level of my responsibility and hard work?
• Am I lazy? How much of my work is pending at any point of time and is it due to my laziness?

Sometimes your perception of yourself may be wrong. Check with someone whom you trust most.

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

NC Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live - Excitement # 58 - Learn How to Disagree!

Learn How to Disagree

Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.

– Mohandas Gandhi

Do you disagree with others when necessary? Or, are you a ‘yes’ man?   The ability to analyze and to come to an independent decision is an important life skill to be developed. Everyone has a right to have their own views and express the same. Their decisions and views may also affect us. But we also have the right to think independently and form our own views. The problem is that some of us may not know how to express our views assertively. You have to train yourself to express your own point of view if needed. Like you learnt cycling or typing, you need to learn this skill also.

One way to do this is to keenly observe people who express a contradictory view and tactfully model them. Start expressing your views on small issues. On major issues, you may take time and reflect on the choices you have. You may jot down your reasons, why you don’t agree on the view expressed by others before expressing your point of view.

Start developing this trait in you from this week and notice your assertive personality growing!

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

NC Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live! Excitement # 54 - Calibrate Your Anger Index

For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is natural to feel angry sometimes.  If we don’t express our feelings, we will suffer ‘emotional constipation’! We are human beings with feelings and emotions and it is okay to experience the same. But the most important question is: how frequently we feel so? It is like having fever or head ache. If we have fever very frequently, our system will break down. Similarly, if we feel angry very often, we will end up with emotional breakdown. Feeling happy and excited all day long will not affect our mental health. But negative feelings will alter our mindset and attitude.

We have to calibrate the frequency and intensity of our anger by an exercise for a week. Have some beads or coins handy. Whenever you feel angry, transfer a bead from one pocket to another. Or you can put a tally on a paper, whenever you feel angry. At the end of the day, calculate the number of times you felt angry. This is an index of your negative mental health.

Try this for a week and notice what happens to the frequency of your anger! 

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live)

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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Handicapped? Where? In body or mind?

Disability is a state of mind. In many people is an excuse or an escape mechanism...It gives a reason which will be accepted by others and so you have a reason not to stress yourself. Read the following quote and the video clipping.
NC Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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Robert Michael Hensel was born with Spina bifida. He is also a Guinness World Records holder for the longest non-stop wheelie in a wheelchair, covering a total distance of 6.178 miles.
• Limitations only go so far.
• Know me for my abilities, not my disability.
• I don't have a dis-ability, I have a different-ability.
• Go ahead and label me, cause labels are made for gifts.
• My disability has opened my eye's to see my true abilities.
• When everyone else says you can't, determination says,"YES YOU CAN."
• There is no greater disability in society, than the inability to see a person as more
• I have a Disability yes that's true, but all that really means is I may have to take a slightly different path than you.
• As a disabled man, let my life be a reflection of the endless amount of ability that exists in each and everyone of us.
• We, the one's who are challenged, need to be heard. To be seen not as a disability, but as a person who has and will continue to bloom. To be seen not only as a handicap, but as a well intact human being.
• It takes an open minded individual to look beyond a disability, and see, that ability has so much more to offer, than the limitations society tries to place upon them. - Robert M. Hensel

365 Exciting Ways to Live - Excitement # 48 - Fight Procrastination

Fight Procrastination

Procrastination is opportunity's assassin.

– Victor Kiam

If there is one most dangerous virus which destroys success in spite of infinite potential and hard work, it is ‘procrastination’. Procrastination is the habit of delaying action on a pending project for no reason at all. It is the mindset of ‘I can, I have to, but I will not do it now’! The other day, one of my friends came to me and said, ‘They said that procrastination is the cause of all my failure. I don’t know what that big word means. I will look it up tomorrow’!

There can be many reasons for your procrastination such as hopelessness, helplessness, unpleasant activities, overwhelming tasks, fear of failure and perfectionism. One way to overcome procrastination is to visualise the consequences of anymore delay. If the task is overwhelming, try breaking it up into small managerial sub-tasks and do one small activity everyday. It may even be a very small activity. Make a public announcement to your friends that you will complete the task, which you have been procrastinating so far, within the next few weeks.

Resolve today to fight procrastination. Do it today and not tomorrow!

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live - Excitement # 45 - Improve Your ‘Creativity Quotient’

Improve Your ‘Creativity Quotient’.

It is better to have enough ideas for some of them to be wrong, than to be always right by having no ideas at all.

– Edward de Bono

These days we hear about Intelligent Quotient (IQ), Emotional Quotient (EQ) etc. Have you thought about ‘Creativity Quotient’?  Lot of researchers and scholars across the world are trying to do some research on this subject. Leave out all those jargons! Are you a creative person? Do you want to be thinking differently?

A few days ago, in one of my ‘IGNITE’ seminars, a participant asked me how to improve his creativity. Here is my answer: Creativity is a function of the Right Side of our brain. We can trigger the Right Hemisphere through ‘Brain Gym’ exercises. Log on to any search engines and you can get simple Brain Gym exercises. Spend 10 to 15 minutes a day doing simple Brain Gym exercises.

Become inquisitive to think creatively. Instead of following a beaten track, ask yourself: ‘why should I not think in this way’? Try to find an alternative solution to simple everyday problems. Read books written by Edward De Bono, who came out with the breakthrough concept called ‘lateral thinking’.

From today, spend at least 45 minutes per day to think differently! Let your creativity sprout and grow!

(From my book '365 Excitement Ways to Live')

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live - Excitement # 44 : Check Your Personal Integrity Account

Check Your Personal Integrity Account

Rather fall with honor than succeed by fraud.

– Sophocles

A person’s financial creditworthiness is evaluated by analysing his bank account. The more you credit and the less you debit your account, the more will be your creditworthiness. If you are creditworthy, people will respect you.

Similarly, you are also building up your ‘personal integrity account’. Every time you promise something and keep up your promise, your personal integrity account is credited; every time you promise something and you don’t keep up your promise, your personal integrity account is debited. Finally, your credit and debit will be balanced to evaluate your creditworthiness as a person, in terms of integrity.

People evaluate you by what you say and what you do. Check for these following traits in you:

·         Do you over-promise and under deliver?

·         Are you late to appointments?

·         Do you tell lies?

·         Do you fail in your commitments?

The list is only illustrative and not exhaustive. If the answer to such questions is ‘yes’, you run the risk of damaging your personal integrity account and image!

Audit your personal integrity account periodically and take remedial action before it is too late!

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 16: Carry a Book of Learning!

Carry a Book of Learning!

Learning never exhausts the mind.

– Leonardo da Vinci

Some time back I wrote about an idea book, which I suggested that you carry it wherever you go and jot down every idea that pops up in your mind.

How about a ‘learning book’? The other day I met a very important person, who showed me a book in which he writes every day, what new thing he learns on that day.  A learning book registers something you learn every day.

Suppose you miss a flight, write down one new thing you learnt while you went through the tension of missing the flight. If you meet with a minor accident, jot down what you learnt out of that experience. If you mess up something in the office and your boss shouts at you, jot down one learning point.

Once in every month read all the learning points that you’ve registered and you will be stunned at the richness of the experience!

It’s a simple, yet powerful self-improvement plan.

Do it from today! 

From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live'

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live - Excitement # 51 - Attend Family Functions!

Attend Family Functions

Do not protect yourself by a fence, but rather by your friends.

– Czech Proverb

Some fifty years ago, we attended get together and family functions with much more passion and interest. But over a period of time, we have become very busy for all that. Today the family has become so small that our children may not know their close relations. In the next generation, cousins will become strangers.

One way to remain in touch with our friends and relations is to attend as many functions as possible with our spouse and children. We should allow our children to go freely and mingle with people.

From this week onwards, make it a point to attend all functions for which you are invited. Make sure that you meet people. Try to remember and renew relationships. Get to know their address, mobile phone numbers, e-mail address etc. You can also ask your child to draw a family tree. You can start a group e-mail to be in touch. You can also use social networking like Facebook. In this electronic era, it is very easy to connect with people.

Do this sincerely and notice what happens to your circle of friends and relatives.

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

NC Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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