365 Exciting ways to live - 78

78 / 365 Giving Feedback and Criticism

He has a right to criticise, who has a heart to help.

 Abraham Lincoln

Sometimes we have to give our feedback and criticism to others. It may be for their good or for our good. But the most important thing to remember is how to give the feedback, especially negative feedbacks and criticisms. The purpose of a negative feedback or criticism should be to help the other person and not to punish or insult.

Evaluate the quality of your feedback with reference to the following factors:

• The words you use – are they kind and appropriate?
• The timing of your feedback – is it the right time? Choose a neutral occasion and not when the other person is emotionally charged.
• The place. Praise in public, criticise in private.
• Be genuine in your intention and let the other person know it.
• Check if the purpose of your feedback is achieved and how the other person has taken it.

·         Let the other person know why and what you are trying to communicate.

A little amount of empathy and tact will go a long way to maintain a healthy rapport even after you have given the feedback and criticism.

(From my book “365 Exciting Ways to Live”)

'365 Exciting Ways to Live' is an ideal gift for any special occasion and a good reading material for supervisory development. You can also gift this book to the school or college you studied....

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 N.C. Sridharan

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Development is not natural, but decay is!

Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakes!
Carl Jung
 
Development is not a natural process. It is initiated and controlled by us. This applies to self development, organizational development, society development, or any development for that matter. If you want to develop your knowledge and skill, you have to take efforts.

But you have to do nothing to decay. It is a natural process! If you are not developing healthy muscles, you will end up with flesh. While muscles give you strength, flesh gives you health problems such as obesity, blood pressure etc. You have a choice of developing healthy muscles and if you don’t exercise this option, obesity is certain!
If you don’t charge a battery, discharge is certain. There is no such thing as one time charging of a battery! The same thing applies to knowledge and skill. If you are not acquiring knowledge and skill, you are losing them. If you are not developing a garden, you will end up in a forest.
So,
-develop a good personality and character
-develop good habits and traits
-develop your talents
-develop your knowledge and skill
If you don’t develop what is required in order to survive and thrive, you are going to suffer.
So, development is a survival issue, and not a luxury!
N C Sridharan
www.thetimefoundation.com
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The ‘It starts with me!’ mindset!

Every generation needs a new revolution
Thomas Jefferson
We blame that our street is not clean, people are not disciplined, politicians are corrupt etc. and the list can be endless.

We can blame, complain and criticise others and get frustrated and depressed with this mindset. 

The other day I was in a temple in Cleveland and a child came in front of me as though to give a constructive solution to these ‘social problem’. She was wearing a T- shirt on which was printed ‘It starts with me!’. Isn’t it true that any change starts with us? We cannot change the world. But we can change ourselves and try to start a revolution which perhaps will change the world.

See if this makes some sense:
•    Discipline starts with me.
•    Indiscipline starts with me.
•    Health starts with me.
•    Positive attitude starts with me.
•    Good manners and etiquette starts with me.
•    Charity starts with me.
•    Good values start with me.

Just imagine what will world be like if everyone has this mindset.

Let us start a new revolution with our taking the first step! Instead of complaining about darkness let us light a lamp!
NC Sridharan
www.thetimefoundation.com
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CHANGE IN US: GOOD OR BAD

There is nothing wrong with change if it is in the right direction.

Winston Churchill

We are always busy, but the question is, ‘Busy in doing what?’ We are always working; the question is, ‘What are we working at?’ We are always communicating, but the question is, ‘What are we communicating?’ We are always thinking, but the question is, ‘What are we thinking?’ Similarly we are always changing, but the question is, ‘Is the change good or bad?’

The one thing which does not change is change itself. There have been a lot of changes taking place, both inside of us and outside as well. By the time you finished reading this sentence, some cells would have grown and some would have died in your body. Some thoughts would have entered your mind and some other would have left your mind.

In a factory, the production takes place continuously – both good products and scrap. No one produces scrap intentionally. Creation of scrap is a natural process.
Similarly, some unwanted changes also take place in us, like the weeds that grow along with good plants.

We have to do a self-audit once in a year to check the quality and direction of change in us. Perhaps, we can choose the New Year Day or our birthday, which is emotional. We can make two lists: in one we list all the good changes that happened in our life and in the other, we list all the not-so-good changes.  For example, ‘I have changed my food habit by saying ‘no’ to oily food’ and ‘I have started social drinking’. After making the two lists, check which list is longer, and this will tell you which way you are progressing and whether the change is for good or for worse!

FIRST CHANGE YOURSELF

Give to the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you.

 Ella Wheeler Wilcox

The world is not a perfect place, and we are here to perfect the society around us. When we see people around us behaving not so perfectly, we blame them, complain about them or criticize them. Sometimes, we label them that they are not good. However, this approach is not going to make any difference. We will end up advocating the principle of helplessness.

If you think for a while, you will understand that we can make a difference in our own way to redeem the society. We can give the world the best we have and ‘enroll’ people whom we know into this movement. If we do this honestly and sincerely, this ‘redemption movement’ will gain momentum. Over a period of time, we will see more people becoming proactive and taking the first step towards making their contribution.

This is how any movement starts. Whatever you do, resolve today to do it in the best way. Ask yourself whether you can improve your performance and sincerely implement. Share this idea with at least five persons today. Let those five people bring another five people and allow this movement to catch on.
Don’t try to change the world. First change yourself and some people who are very near to you. Do this sincerely and set aside a time frame everyday to this important society-building portfolio and see the result over a period of time. You will notice that what goes around will come around!