365 Exciting Ways to Live : Excitement # 28

Practise Active Listening

The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention.

– Thich Nhat Hanh

How do you listen when someone talks to you? What is the quality of your listening? Do you feel restless and butt in, when others speak to you? If you do all these, stop!   The quality of listening is very important in the process of communication.

The difference between listening and hearing lies in the quality. There are two types of listening: active listening and passive listening. Active listening encourages the communicator, whereas passive listening discourages him. Active listening is also called ‘whole-body listening’, where the listener also participates in the communication process. For active listening, the following parameters are important:

• Your body language.
• Your eye contact with the communicator.
• Asking relevant questions and clarifications.
• Paraphrasing what the communicator says.
• Facial expression.

From today, be conscious and look for the above in you,   when you listen to someone. Ask your close friends to give feedback on the quality of your listening and actively listen when they give the feedback!

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 27 - Make Every Day a Thanks Giving Day

Make Every Day a Thanks Giving Day

Nothing is more honourable than a grateful heart.

– Seneca

Have you heard of ‘Thanks Giving Day’?   Why not make every day a Thanks Giving Day?   We need the help of others to achieve in life. We need the cooperation and support of many. In fact we also need lack of cooperation and inaction of others! If everyone cooperates and provides an ideal environment, we will not mature in life! Isn’t true?

We should remember people's help and thank them. While thanking, both the person thanking and the person receiving feel happy. People yearn for recognition and reciprocation, as much as we yearn for help and support. When we recognise and reciprocate, we build healthy relationship and emotional wellness.

Try this today. Make a list all those who helped you in some way or other – small or big. Every day, send a ‘thank you’ card to one person and don’t go to sleep unless you’ve done this! In this electronic era, it is very easy to do this. You can either send a sms or an e-mail or you can use your mobile, etc.

Do this regularly and notice what happens to your emotional bank account!

(From My Book '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

NC Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 26 - Know How You Irritate Others!

Know How You Irritate Others

Prepare yourself for the world, as the athletes used to do for their exercise; oil your mind and your manners, to give them the necessary suppleness and flexibility; strength alone will not do.

– Lord Chesterfield

Do you irritate others? If so, do you know how? We may not know how we irritate others. It may be some mannerism or traits such as interrupting,  when someone talks; speaking with a loud voice; wounding someone’s emotions or feelings with words; talking too much; boasting; snoring; slurping; making unconnected or inappropriate comments; seeking undue favours. The list can be endless!

Many may not tell you, but you need to be aware.

There is a whole range of a subject called ‘Etiquette’, the social skills, which we need to know compulsorily. It changes from culture to culture. Especially when you move with a heterogeneous body of people drawn from various cultures, you need to know what is not acceptable in each culture.

Today why don’t you do an exercise? Talk to some of your very close friends and ask them to give you some feedback on how you irritate others? Encourage them to be frank. Work out an action plan to get rid of the same!

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live'

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 25: Take Inventory of Your Bad Habits!

Take Inventory of Your Bad Habits

Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones.

 Benjamin Franklin

In any organisation, once in every year a complete inventory is taken to take stock of the assets and the liabilities so that the balance sheet can be drawn. The health of an organisation can be seen not merely looking at the profit and loss account, but also at the balance sheet. The investors will be keen to know the liability part of the balance sheet. As individuals, we should also know our assets, which are our good habits as well as our liabilities, which are our bad habits.

Today, make an inventory of your bad habits! Sit calmly and list at least ten bad habits, which you want to get rid of. Against each bad habit, honestly write down how the same has affected your life. Just visualise how your life would be now and in future without these bad habits.

The law of nature is very clear: what is noticed alone will grow. The same applies to removing something bad. Unless you notice a bad habit, you cannot remove it. It’s like garbage removal. Unless you notice, you will not remove it!

Make today an inventory taking day!

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

NC Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitment # 24 : Learn from Criticisms!

Learn from Criticisms!

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs.

– Christopher Hampton

Are you comfortable to take criticism and feedback constructively?   We need to develop this important quality. Many of us do not encourage others to criticise us.  Think of the consequence of complete absence of any feedback and criticism about you. The more you dislike feedback and criticisms, the less others will be free to offer the same. We may be thinking that what we do is right, but it may not be true.

Do you want to know where you have to improve? Choose five people whom you trust most. Ask them to write down three things which they don’t like in you! Do this exercise sincerely and honestly.

Of the various things pointed out, choose five most important issues and draw an action plan for self-improvement. Focus on one issue per week and try to eliminate the same from you.

This may look odd, but do it.   Stand in front of a mirror and openly criticise yourself! Suggest changes to the person in front of you and notice what happens to your own personality over a period of time!

Try this out!

(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live)

www.thetimefoundation.com

NC Sridharan

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 23: Develop an Eye for Details!

Develop an Eye for Details

It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things to happen.

– John Wooden

Developing an eye for details is an important quality. Great people have this. This is a mindset and attitude, which will enhance the quality of our work.

Going into the details is a left brain function. Getting an overall perspective is a right brain function. We need both to succeed in life. There are ways to enhance our ability to improve our eye for details. 

Here is an exercise which you can do to develop an eye for details.

Take any object and look at it for two to three minutes and set it aside. Recall what all you noticed in that object. Now, take the same object again and carefully look at the same object this time going into even more details. Improve the quality of your focus; imagine that there is nothing else existing in the world other than the object. Write down more information about the object. You will be surprised to notice what all you missed! Repeat this exercise as many times as possible.

Notice what happens to your ability to go into details!

(From my book: '365 Exciting Ways to Live')

www.thetimefoundation.com

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365 Exciting Ways to Live: Excitement # 22: Get Noticed!

Get Noticed

If you don't get noticed, you don't have anything. You just have to be noticed, but the art is in getting noticed naturally, without screaming or without tricks.

Leo Burnett

Have you thought about the trait of ‘getting noticed’?   In order to succeed in life, we have to get noticed by others. We may have all the talents and we may also be contributing, but we may not be noticed. Unless we are noticed, we will not be recognised in the society.

Next time when you go to a departmental store, notice how the products are displayed to catch your attention. Even if the product is very good, people should know in what way it is different from that of the competitors. This is what is projected by the marketing agency.

Check what you have to get noticed by others. How do you ‘package’ your contribution to others? What is your unique talent? Is your communication skill different from others? How is your image – both internal and external? Are you an inspiration to others? Is there something which you alone can offer, which no one else can? If so how do you communicate your uniqueness to the world?

Today ponder over the above and jot down a few ideas, which come to your mind.


(From my book '365 Exciting Ways to Live) 

NC Sridharan
www.thetimefoundation.com
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